tell your sister to shave her snatch
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
