I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
