i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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