Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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