did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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