It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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