Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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