I puked a lego.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
