U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
