Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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