I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
