google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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