I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
