i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
