About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
