wake up i wanna do it froggy style
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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