next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
