Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you had me at cake vodka
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize