How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just want nice things and good sex
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
