how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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