Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Randomize
