is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
