I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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