You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
