Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
