Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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