If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
