He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
