Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
