just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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