Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
