with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
