fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
