Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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