party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
