just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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