Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
