belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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