Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
