hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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