Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
