Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you win again, gameday.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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