we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
