Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
