Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Randomize
