For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
