At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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