Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
