Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
