i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
