im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So squirting runs in the family.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I need moral support for this bender
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
