why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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