No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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