just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
